including your fiancé
Once we had a date and venue, my husband and I came up with a list of things about the wedding day that were important to each of us. We identified tasks that needed to be completed prior to the wedding that would enable us to meet our goals, and divided the tasks between the two of us!
Having regular, honest conversations together about our expectations for the big day and understanding each other's workloads allowed us to both provide input and support one another when planning became stressful.
I was very intentional about asking his opinion on everything, even if he really didn’t care what color table runners we had. I also delegated a lot of tasks to him, such as music selection given that he’s the music guru between the two of us. Despite my micro-managing tendencies, it was cool to see him take charge. I literally had no idea what I was walking down the aisle to until the big moment because he did it all!
While planning our wedding, I asked Austin what was most important to him and made sure he had the final say on those details. For him the food, cake, music and venue were the most important, so we went together to pick out all of the menu and cake flavors and met the DJ together. He wanted our wedding to be pretty but left all the details to me! I think the most important thing in planning with your soon to be husband is to remember that this is a big day for them too and you want to meld your two personalities together.
Most of the time, he would say “looks great!” and move on. But when he did voice an opinion about something, I really took it to heart, because for him to bring it up, it must have been important to him.
It was important to me that we worked on ceremony details together. While I knew he wouldn’t know the difference in a processional song, I wanted to be in sync about the ceremony and our vows, as that was the biggest part to me. I also knew Blake didn’t care about the little details like invitation design or the flowers, but once I decided on something I’d send a text with the draft and see what he thought which helped him understand the vision! I also gave him full reign on the boys attire (thankfully he has good taste!)
a tip from grace ann!
Make planning together fun! Ben and I would plan together over coffee and dinner dates. I also recommend not talking about planning-related things 24/7! That tends to overwhelm the guys. So by scheduling one or two specific nights a week where we could brainstorm and finalize decisions together, planning together stayed relaxed and fun! (That doesn't mean I didn't talk to my girlfriends and mom about planning 24/7 though hahah).